1. |
Thunder
03:16
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Thunder (JC)
So what if I'm just starved for attention
There are far worse things to accuse me of
Excuses derived from better times don't do you justice
Exhaustion is no place to foster love
Have I burned enough for the mistakes that I've made?
Depends on who you ask, but I hope you say that I have
These scars have made their mark but this skin won't shed quietly
At whose expense do I forgo humility?
You are the winter that I brave?
I am just the soul that you couldn't save
Let's chalk it up to youth and those petty things I couldn't do
This is a bridge that I can't cross with you
And I held on so long I could hear the bones in my hands crack
Mocking the way I gave in to your petty fears and lacking sense of tact
I'll take the pieces left with me
I'll build something holy
I'll build something clean
By July I hope we find January didn't leave us stuck in time
You are the winter that I braved
I am just the soul that you could not save
Let's chalk it up to youth
and those petty things that I couldn't prove
This is a bridge that I can't cross with you
I fold, you win
But the sun will shine over my world
with or without you in it
Would you trade in this pain if it meant that you couldn't feel a thing?
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2. |
Healing
03:19
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Healing (JC/KN)
I fell asleep to the sound of my voice caving in
and fell apart to the sight of my days dissolving beneath me
I know I played the victim longer than I should have
I'll shed all this dissonance and be something you couldn't get rid of
I kissed the lips of a love I didn't love as much as I thought
I thought this is what you meant by healing
Heal me
Didn't you believe me when I said this is worse than just giving in?
I know my best intentions were awfully composed
I dressed some sins up in some colors less belligerent
Don't you tell me this is what it's like to be free
I created some lies who ideals I've aligned my life by
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3. |
Rapture
03:45
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Rapture (JC)
I spent far too long facing at the sky
blaming you for all the disconnection in my life
The sun finally made me blind,
so I spent some time to look inside
i felt my honesty cross its petty fingers
when it said the fight was worth it
toast to your steady hands and fearfulness of
misguided ambition and unstable conditions
I won't let myself lose all the hope I had saved up
from last time i felt triumph
my ego won't let me sink past the shoulders of lesser men,
but I can't help but relate to their circumstances
i felt my honesty cross its petty fingers
when it said the fight was worth it
toast to your steady hands and fearfulness of
misguided ambition and unstable conditions
there is glory in this sadness
and holiness in its acceptance
I will not be a stranger to the warmth or an anchor to your world
I've been staying up these nights with fear of the permanence
I know I shouldn't have left
but the words I spoke lacked the hope I held when this mattered to you
clean up the wounds you left
let summer rain wash fear away
my heart is no shipwreck
just a piece of me that needs you to stay
I've been sleeping in hoping these days would pass fast
let the season take its toll
until my perspective finds beauty in waking up alone
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4. |
Everest
04:08
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Everest (JC/KN/QMK)
Curse my eyes for they see far too clearly
Were this lies I've died a thousand times for not good enough?
Bless by father's heart for it loved to weakly
Will what we find be worth the hunt?
And I so lost for leaving an empty love?
My mother said don't you dare start fires
that you can't put out on your own
You are my Everest, you own my patience
I'm the sum of my decisions and my shortcomings and resentment
I'm carving out pieces of my mind to erase the ghosts we left behind
I won't chase false idols or a view of you more beautiful
Bless your brittle heart for it held to tightly
Wisdom comes in different tongues
but your love lies too easily
You are my Everest, you own my patience
I'm the sum of my decisions and my shortcomings and resentment
You are the Red Sea, and I am tearing at the seems
I'm in progress and dependent, hopeful, blessed and rested
You have taken so much from me
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5. |
Young Souls
04:33
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Young Souls (KN/JC)
Young souls need a place to vent.
I haven't much experience so please consider this
in desperate times, when I have nothing left to give:
I only ask for patience.
I am more anxious to be a friend,
to surrender and give the way I was meant.
In a world filled with folly and sin, love must cling where it can.
I am fervent and tense, and awake in this moment.
Forest fires don't burn brighter than the love I desire.
So don't be shy in the handling of words,
for they soon expire.
The tide recedes along the shore of this creaky winter
(Let me rest my laurels on the fact that I gave it my best
I gave up you couldn't see
I gave up you let it be)
I won't go begging at a beggars door.
I'm not the same as I was before
my heart became seasoned.
And I won't ever love without reason anymore,
but I'll watch you beg to please just to grieve some more.
I'll keep nothing from you, if you keep nothing from me, how could I keep a secret anyway? All the pain I've been through has only prepared me for the truth: we only get the love we give ourselves. Am I the sea or the monsters beneath? Am I the breeze or the leaves on the tree?
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6. |
Calvary
04:19
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Calvary (JC/KN)
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7. |
Lost Cause
04:20
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Lost Cause (KN)
All these expectations and pressing questions
of when and where and why and how
but i never promised anyone anything
and i never gave you a reason to think i expected anything from you
so run off with your reasons, like you need them
you'll do it all your way
I lost a lot of blood breaking things i love over you
was it worth your time?
could you justify it all?
is this how lost that you've become
you were the start of this, my crucifix
my mixed up thoughts, and my distraught ambition
i can only hope you'll listen
and after months that i spent making a blanket to wrap myself in
you left me cold, resting on your south sailed soul
I lost a lot of blood breaking things i love over you
was it worth your time?
could you justify it all?
is this how lost that you've become
you're a mirage, a lost cause, a cement block
but you're not as dense as i once thought
you're a short fuse, the weight in my feet (and i'm trying to breathe)
i'm never gonna reach my potential
if i can't rip out the skin that you touched
and forgive myself for being so in lust
you're a mirage, a lost cause, a cement block
but you're not as dense as i once thought
you're a short fuse, the weight in my feet
and I'm trying to breathe
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8. |
Dent
03:56
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Dent (JC/KN/QMK/SH)
I crossed myself in this burning home
and I prayed to God that these blackened doves still signal peace
I closed my eyes through this wandering dream
and kissed the cheek of a being drenched in glory and defeat
I won't go away
I'm stuck inside your head
Just stuck inside your head
There's something so simple about your voice
that's weighing down my heavy head
I cross out the words I let misdirect my patience
I ripped apart everything, and buried my clarity
I am yours until you spit me out
But you won't, no you won't
I can't tell the difference between what you need and me
Aren't I what you need?
I've got these fickle hands
they reach for you
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9. |
Boundaries
04:16
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Boundaries (KN/JC)
I tried hard to understand, but stopped and accepted my ignorance
as a being who can't see beyond his boundaries:
time and the sky and the ocean that surrounds me.
If you thought I was brave enough to face my fears, then that makes two of us.
I've escaped death a few times.
An apparition of some kind took took the fall,
and said "everything will be all right"
I sunk inside my soul,
searching for compassion I hardly know.
I realized that what I thought was faith was just a bravado.
I sunk inside my soul
and found a cancer that I let form.
I bottled it in day-dreams, thinking that I could escape just by never coming home
Life doesn't change if you don't,
and life seems a waste if you're frozen.
Don't tell me you're too sad to make the most,
'cause we all come from places that nobody knows. \
I fell in love with a bruise
twisted and crude
A reminder of all the things I gave up
and all the things we gave it meaning
just by finding out we could be brave
I sunk inside my soul,
searching for compassion I hardly know.
I realized that what I thought was faith was just a bravado.
I sunk inside my soul and found a cancer that I let form.
I bottled it in day-dreams, thinking that I could escape just by never coming home
Jealous love, you found me.
You broke my chains and made clear my surroundings.
If I escape I won't fall to far away.
The sun stands still, time stays in it's place.
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10. |
Rest
04:40
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Rest (JC)
Was I ever as found as I thought?
We paint ourselves of the time that we lost.
Dissolve into snow, bending and locked
Let the world sneak in, and cave in to what once was
I was afraid of losing
what never was
Was I ever as lost as I thought?
Curse these ghosts and the time we sowed
Keep your fears tattered and low
Leave your eyes unlocked
Let the sun sneak in, and cave in to love
This pain will lift
This pain will wither away
Rest your heart in me
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